The Native Currency of Gooch Island
The ProphecyGooch 1:1 - In the beginning there was the word, and the word was dickbutt.
A novel currency built on art, culture and mathThe prophecy has been told. Our days on Gooch Island are fast approaching and we have to be prepared. If this island is going to be our "forever home", we need the proper economic systems in place.
Hence $gooch is born.
$gooch was created with the burning (and to be honest, little itchy, should get that checked) desire to create a native currency of Gooch Island, backed by foundational mathematics, and meant to fuel an independent society made up of great purveyors of art, culture, and math.Why?$gooch offers CryptoDickbutts the ability to engage in island commerce, for example, purchasing negronis and Marlboro Reds at Bas’ Bar or erecting a monument atop Mount Vesupenis to memorialize the Ten Cummandments. What you do with your $gooch is entirely up to you.
Hence $gooch is born.
$gooch was created with the burning (and to be honest, little itchy, should get that checked) desire to create a native currency of Gooch Island, backed by foundational mathematics, and meant to fuel an independent society made up of great purveyors of art, culture, and math.Why?$gooch offers CryptoDickbutts the ability to engage in island commerce, for example, purchasing negronis and Marlboro Reds at Bas’ Bar or erecting a monument atop Mount Vesupenis to memorialize the Ten Cummandments. What you do with your $gooch is entirely up to you.
$gooch DistributionThere will only ever be 6,969,696,969 $gooch in existence. The initial distribution will go to existing Dickbutt holders, the Penus DAO, and Daddy’s other children. The rest of the supply will be used for additional liquidity incentives, grants, events, etc.
Distribution breakdown
How to buy $gooch1. Create a wallet. Download metamask or your wallet of choice from the app store or google play store for free. Desktop users, download the google chrome extension by going to metamask.io.
2. Get some ETH. Have ETH in your wallet to switch to $gooch. If you don’t have any ETH, you can buy directly on metamask, transfer from another wallet, or buy on another exchange and send it to your wallet.
3. Go to Uniswap. Connect to Uniswap. Go to app.uniswap.org in google chrome or on the browser inside your metamask app. Connect your wallet. Paste the $gooch token address into Uniswap, select Gooch, and confirm. When metamask prompts you for a wallet signature, sign.
4. Switch ETH for $gooch. Enter the amount of ETH you want to switch for $gooch. After that you'll be all ready for Gooch Island.
Here is the $gooch token address: 0x6d3d490964205c8bc8ded39e48e88e8fde45b41f
2. Get some ETH. Have ETH in your wallet to switch to $gooch. If you don’t have any ETH, you can buy directly on metamask, transfer from another wallet, or buy on another exchange and send it to your wallet.
3. Go to Uniswap. Connect to Uniswap. Go to app.uniswap.org in google chrome or on the browser inside your metamask app. Connect your wallet. Paste the $gooch token address into Uniswap, select Gooch, and confirm. When metamask prompts you for a wallet signature, sign.
4. Switch ETH for $gooch. Enter the amount of ETH you want to switch for $gooch. After that you'll be all ready for Gooch Island.
Here is the $gooch token address: 0x6d3d490964205c8bc8ded39e48e88e8fde45b41f
Claiming your $gooch“Hold still, babe, taking a snapshot. snap, snap.” - $gooch dev, May 5 at 5:30 pm ET
If you owned a CryptoDickbutt (seasons 1-3) on May 5 2023 at 5:30 pm ET, you are eligible to claim $gooch. Every dickbutt will have rights to a portion of $gooch tokens.
As we are all Daddy’s children, CrypToadz and Babby holders are also eligible to claim $gooch. Blood is thicker than water, and family is everything in these turbulent times. This snapshot was also taken May 5 2023 at 5:30 pm ET.
Due to the sneaky and pervasive nature of paper hands in these pepe times, all of this $gooch will be doled out in two tranches, half now and half in three months’ time.
In order to make the distribution as fair as possible to all holders, including grail owners, the amount of $gooch tokens distributed per dickbutt will be based on that Dickbutt's appraisal (as gathered by Upshot).
For S3 CryptoDickbutts, CrypToadz, and Babbys. we will take a moving average of the past 3O days of appraisals to determine the $gooch distribution per NFT.
For S1 and S2, the floor price was used instead.
If you owned a CryptoDickbutt (seasons 1-3) on May 5 2023 at 5:30 pm ET, you are eligible to claim $gooch. Every dickbutt will have rights to a portion of $gooch tokens.
As we are all Daddy’s children, CrypToadz and Babby holders are also eligible to claim $gooch. Blood is thicker than water, and family is everything in these turbulent times. This snapshot was also taken May 5 2023 at 5:30 pm ET.
Due to the sneaky and pervasive nature of paper hands in these pepe times, all of this $gooch will be doled out in two tranches, half now and half in three months’ time.
In order to make the distribution as fair as possible to all holders, including grail owners, the amount of $gooch tokens distributed per dickbutt will be based on that Dickbutt's appraisal (as gathered by Upshot).
For S3 CryptoDickbutts, CrypToadz, and Babbys. we will take a moving average of the past 3O days of appraisals to determine the $gooch distribution per NFT.
For S1 and S2, the floor price was used instead.
“I have realized conclusively that dickbutts are not only the
singular embodiment of art, math, and culture - but also the
soundest money and hardest store of value in existence today“
Professor at pretentious university who has written many airport books
“I am comfortable in the knowledge that when the existing geopolitical power structure crumbles and a new world order is established I will have my place amongst the elites on Gooch Island.“Retired world leader who now gives speeches for 250k a pop
Join the community
While there have been numerous attemps to harness and monetize the incredible memetic power of the CryptoDickbutt community, we are excited to unveil $gooch, a currency built by and for the Gooch Island community. This token is our contribution to the prophecy, one of the 10 Cummandments of the CryptoDickbutt community. If you are not familiar with the 10 Cummandments or our gospel, we recommend you familiarize yourself.
Lawyer talk$gooch is a meme coin with no intrinsic value or expectation of financial return. There is no formal team or roadmap. The coin is completely useless and for entertainment purposes only.
Find $gooch online
